Courageous
by DySolo
Summary: L/R DB series. Number 5. Reid and Lila's relationship takes a turn in the events before and after The Big Game and Revelations. Spoilers up to 2x15


**Title: Courageous**  
**Pairing: Lila/Reid**  
**Rating: T  
Author's Notes: Fifth in Deal Breaker Series. Follows Safely, Coming Home, and Pain in the Past and Lean on Me. Safely is rated definitely M for sexual scenes and doesn't have to read to understand the story. Coming Home and Pain in the Past are more necessary and not rated as high  
Summary: Reid and Lila's relationship takes a turn in the events before and after The Big Game and Revelations.**

* * *

"Do you have to?" He asks, watching Garcia and Morgan talking near the break room.

"You know I'd rather spend the Super bowl with you. Though, I don't know why this is even a big deal, Spence. You don't even watch football. Do you even know who is in it this year?" She says, teasingly.

He frowns, he didn't have a clue. "We're all going to be watching it together at the bar. I just thought it would be fun if you could be there too." He swivels in his chair.

"I know." She sighs. "You know, I'd totally skip this, but Linda thinks it'll be good if I go to this thing, it might help me get that part."

Spencer picks at his files, knowing for the last month she's been trying to find other things that the TV show to do and these last couple days had found a role she really wanted. He could tell by the way she talked about it, she was passionate about this specific one. He couldn't ask her to throw away that chance for something so trivial.

"Okay." He says, quietly.

"I'll be there as soon as I can, just a few more days and then I have a week off. No photo shoots, no interviews, nothing. Just me and you in DC."

He smiles. "You know I have to go to West Virginia on Thursday with Rossi for some school lectures. I'll be gone until Saturday afternoon."

"Yeah, well then we'll get like four days together. I'll take what I can get. I miss you."

He blushes a little. "I miss you too." He says, quietly. Morgan slaps him on the back.

"I miss you too." He teases before ruffling the man's hair. "When is the Superstar going to bless us with her presence? She is coming to see my Bears kick some ass, right?"

"Tell him that just because the Bears got it this year doesn't mean my Cowboys aren't better."

"What is with these team names? The Cowboys? Bears? Redskins? None of them have anything to do with sports."

Morgan rolls his eyes and moves back to his desk as Lila laughs. "It's not about the name, anyways, Spence. It's about my team kicking his team's ass."

"But you just said your team wasn't even in the Super bowl."

"This year! Next year, they will be!"

He doesn't anything, unsure of what the right thing to say is.

****

Criminal Minds || Courageous

He gets another call right before he's about to enter the bar. He waves to JJ before answering.

"Hey."

"Hey boyfriend. I was just getting dressed and I thought about you."

"You think about me when you're naked?"

She laughs. "Did you just make a joke, Spence?"

"I.." He pauses long enough for her to laugh again.

"You're lucky you're smart." She pauses. "So I have two dresses. Red and strappy or Black with a long slit up the leg. Which one do you think I should wear?"

"Are you really… you really care what I think?"

"Of course. Plus, It's a big event, there'll be lots of pictures that you could look up. Visual Aids and all." She teases and he blushes at her inference.

"I…uh…" He looks over his shoulder. "The, uh.." He sees Morgan standing near the door, talking to Penelope and lowers his voice. "The red one."

She giggles. "Oh yeah? You really like me in red, huh? You know I think that episode in the pool is on this week….in case you want to watch it."

"Watch you kiss another man, I'd rather not."

"Awe, is my boy jealous?"

He huffs and she giggles again. "Okay, well… I have to get dressed. I'll call you at halftime, alright? I… be safe, okay?"

****

Criminal Minds || Courageous

Lila rushes up to JJ, who is sitting, her head in her hands.

"Where is he? Is he okay? You call me and tell me he's in a hospital in Georgia and don't tell me anything else?"

Gideon comes up to the two. "I told her not to-"

She glares at the older man. "I'm really getting sick of you and not telling me shit." She says, before looking back at JJ, ignoring his presence. "I want to see my boyfriend. I want to see him now. Do you understand me? Now."

"I'll take you to him." JJ says, standing, still not looking up at her.

"Damn straight you will and you'll tell me what happened."

JJ doesn't though and they walk in silence up to the room where he's at. Lila pauses at the door, staring at the man who lies asleep in the room ahead of her. He's connected to an IV and isn't moving.

"What happened?" Her anger is gone as she stares at the man in the bed. He looks… she can't even finish her thought.

"Spencer and I went to talk to a witness who we later found out was our unsub. We separated and Spencer got kidnapped. He experienced some abuse…and witnessed a murder. He… was drugged and had a seizure that caused him to stop breathing. He was later resuscitated and then made to dig own grave."

"My god." Lila puts her hand to her mouth. "Is he going to be okay?"

"He's just a little dehydrated and banged up. The doctor said he should be fine with some rest and fluids. They're going to keep him a couple days for observation, but then he can go home."

She nods before making her way into the room. She sits at the edge of his bed and grabs his hand.

****

Criminal Minds || Courageous

__

Spencer stands in front of her, staring at a hooded figure, the only thing visible was his finger on a trigger, a gun pointed at him. The hooded figure turns towards her before slamming the gun into Spencer's head. She screamed, running towards him before the figure turned to her aiming the gun at her. She freezes, unable to move as the hooded figure turns back to Spencer, aiming again before the gun seems to explode and everything goes dark.

She awakes with a start to see Spencer staring up at the ceiling. She sits up and squeezes his hand. Spencer turns to her and frowns.

"Lila."

She smiles at him, weakly. "Hey."

He looks around. "Where's… JJ?"

Lila frowns. "She's… I'll go get her, okay?"

He nods, turning back to the ceiling.

Lila stands up before making her way out to the visitor's room. Only JJ and Morgan are still here. "He wants to see you."

JJ looks up, confused. "Me?"

She moves her hands over her torso. "Yeah."

She follows the woman back to the man's room, but doesn't enter when JJ does. She stays at the door at watches the woman take her seat and how he reaches out for her. His hand, stuck with an IV, reaches out for hers. Lila tries not to have it hurt, remembering how JJ said something about how they separated. She had seen the guilt in the other woman's eyes, but Spencer was her boyfriend. He had almost died and he was comforting JJ? She looks away before closing her eyes again. Spencer had almost died. He _had_ died. She takes a deep breath and slides to the ground, eyes still closed. The pictures from her nightmare are still fresh. What if he hadn't gotten away? What if it had been different and he wasn't in the room behind her. Could she handle that? They had almost been dating for a year now. 7 months, 3 weeks and 11 days, Spencer would say - she knew because she had asked him about it last week. He had yet to tell her he loved her, but she had guessed it would take him awhile. He had never been in love and still talked about how it was just chemicals reacting, before he would smile and tell her he did enjoy being around her though. It was enough for now. And if she was being honest with herself, she wasn't sure if she really loved him or not, either. They had shared secrets though, pains and fears. He had opened up about his mother and she, about her abuse - that wasn't just small stuff. Did she love him? She breathed out slow. She didn't even want to think about that. It made it harder to look at him in there, beat and exhausted. It had been only 7 months and this was her second visit to the hospital. Of course, it hadn't been him the first time, but did that matter? A member of his team had been shot and now, he had been kidnapped? She had known his job was dangerous, they had met on one of his cases, where he aimed a gun at her close friend, a gun that had been aimed at both of their heads. She rubbed her eyes, she had never imagined it would be this dangerous though.

JJ walks out and Lila looks up to see the woman's eyes are red. "He's asking for you." She says, quietly before walking past them. Lila gets to her feet and makes her way into the room, where Spencer looks a little better.

"Hey." He says, softly. "I'm sorry about-"

She shakes her head, she doesn't want to hear any apologies about JJ. "You almost died."

He tries to smile. "I didn't."

"You did. JJ told me you did. You died and then the-the guy brought you back to life, Spencer!"

"But I'm okay, now." He tries to teach out to her, to comfort her but she pulls away, wrapping her arms around herself.

"You're not okay. You're not okay at all. You're in a hospital! You…you died, Spencer. You died."

Spencer frowns. "But I'm okay, now." He repeats himself.

"For how long?" She says, quietly, sniffling. She breathes out, running a hand through her hair, trying to remain calm, focused and failing. "How long until another 'unsub' comes along with a gun or bomb or something and…. I can't, Spencer, I can't."

He pushes himself to sit up, wincing as he does so and it only makes her cry harder. "I can't." She whispers.

"Lila, It was just a-"

"It wasn't just anything, Spence! You… you told me that you had to shot someone in the head and then you almost got blown up when Elle was in the hospital and now this? What's next? I can't… I can't sit here and….watch you die. I…. I can't."

She knows that he told her about all the other case incidents just recently to make her feel better, more involved in his life but thinking about it all, it just makes her sick, knowing all the bad places he's been, all the luck he's had.

He looks at her confused before opening his mouth.

"Lye, I'm-"

She raises a hand at the nickname. It's rare that he uses a term of endearment or calls her anything other than her given name and she can't handle it right now.

"I just can't, Spencer. I'm sorry." She turns to walk out of the room.

"Lila, wait!"

She continues to walk until she can't hear him calling for her anymore. Once in the elevator, she breaks down completely.


End file.
